Thankfulness

A man with leprosy- an illness which perhaps means it not as hard for him as many to overcome that self dignity thing- on his knees before Jesus, with a statement of faith and hope- but perhaps not necessarily what Barclay would call Christian hope. Or maybe it was- I wonder how much this man knew of Jesus – had he seen him in action in other places- what had he noticed about his character? He would have known Jesus had healed other people- was it “well this is worth a punt?” a man on his knees doesn't really feel like that- more this disease has stripped me of nearly everything and in desperation with a thin sliver of hope- I will ask this man if he can heal me of this blight. Can only wonder- the story puts in place a few parameters – we know of this man's condition- and we know he was willing enough to fall at someone's feet and beg (and perhaps that willingness to ask does tell us a bit) but we don't particularly know what kind of man he was. It would seem there are some who suffer amazing things with incredible grace (Di Tyson from what I know- Pete Vol's mum from his descriptions, where something very limiting does not mean they give way to self centredness or become defined perhaps by the illness. There are many others who (understandably) do not handle such a situation well. This man's immediate response seems exuberant as well as disobedient (seems fairly understandable to a degree) He tells others what happened to him – lets them know it was Jesus who affected the change- there seems to be at least some kind of gratefulness there- but on the whole it does not seem that grateful or classy to me. - You have just been cured of an illness which meant you could be part of normal human society- (it could have been years or decades), and the man who you thought could cure you has- and he tells you not to tell anyone but to go and do a practical thing, get the official nod to recognise what I have just done here, so that you may enter back into society. Jesus gives him a strong warning – comes from embrimesamenos (used classically to denote 'scarce controlled animal fury' pg 118 France) It would seem from what France writes that normally the object of this word would be the object of strong disapproval- but because there doesn't seem a reason for Jesus to be doing that here, it is translated 'strictly charged' rather than scolded or worse. Whatever- It seems there should be no trouble for the man clearly picking up Jesus drift. I feel like the least I could do in a similar situation, was to respect the wishes of the man who had just given me my heart's desire. There are strings attached- and they are not burdensome strings- but the man does the exact opposite of what Jesus asked him.

Perhaps this gives us more insight into the man than what I was thinking- He got what he wanted from Jesus- then failed to respect him- I wonder if he ever 'came back' became really healed- understood what had happened to him as a 'sign' as John would put it, repented of what he had done.
I suppose it is possible- though it doesn't bode well, if you miss it in such a situation as this. Who knows – an instance of Aslan telling us not to worry- no one is ever told what would have happened, or that is someone else's story.

Thankfulness- calls forth some sort of response- and I think a right thankfulness draws us away from ourself to want to honour or praise or be grateful to someone or something else. Perhaps any other kind of thankfulness is not really that thankful- what would you call the ex lepers response then? He's telling everyone about it- obviously glad about what's happened- glad but not thankful?...
Hasn't got the grateful part- thankfulness with no grace. I suppose you can rejoice in something that is evil... but perhaps even there- though there may have been thankfulness there at the time- I think that would diminish- don't think you can be thankful for evil for eternity- if it's not good it becomes a horror- hold onto it and that leads to death- what Lewis talks about when he says in the end everybody gets what they want.

It was a rainy day yesterday- cleaning the house- didn't get as far as I wanted- watched God's must be crazy 2- poor cousin to it's predecessor- always a bad feeling, thinking you've just wasted 2 hours of your life watching a bad or dumb movie, a few other negative thought trains- Anyway- thankfulness out the window- forgive me please, and help me to see.